The red one is half crazy but occasionally cute.  The black one is a killer and we've seen her take out two city rats on separate occasions outside the house.  We don't ever have mice or other creatures inside thanks to these two - but still - I'd let them go pretty cheap.  As in free.  I'd just as soon set mousetraps if it means that I get an environment free from such frequent and hysterical barking.  I know taking out mice with killer traps is violent, but what these dogs do to vermin certainly can't be considered humane so it doesn't seem like an issue that's going to hang me up in the transition from dachshund keeper to dachshund survivor. 

My wife, who brought these animals into my life, has lovingly agreed to let them go to a good home with suitable hunting grounds for the killer.  If you think you can stand living with these two miniature despots dachshunds, please contact me to help make my home a bit more quiet as soon as possible.